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Why do others always get what they want while i can only see their happiness?

Why is it that i do not get a chance at happiness?

Perhaps, happiness was never meant to be for me.

Perhaps i lack the courage to pursue the happiness.

Maybe it could have been different.

Could it?

I do not deserve sympathy and i will not beg for it.

I am in this state because of my own doing and my own failure.

Perhaps i need time.

A long long time.

Then can i watch with a smile, and let it all go.

It is painful, alone and dark.

Can i walk finish the road?

Or sccumb to my weakness halfway?

Luck has deserted me.

Happiness has scorned me.

What should i do?

In order to ease the pain.